Monday, December 12, 2011

I have created a Hostile Work Environment for My Pants

So I missed Posting this Friday because we were out of town-we went to Bryson City, NC to ride the Polar Express-it was a blast-and hopefully you will have the fortunate opportunity to read about that adventure later...if I have some time to write about it (and if you are a frequent visitor or follower of mine you know not to hold your breath for a quick post because I am SLACK.)...

On to Spilling my Confessions-in no particular order other than what comes to my mind first

When the Sale comes First and the Truth comes Second...yes, I am fully aware those are lyrics to a song...but for real...and this applies to many aspects of life...say...for a job interview.  I know both the interviewer and the interviewee are both trying to sell the other party, but seriously people-FULL DISCLOSURE and HONESTY are important.  If you tell me that "People don't Leave" your company but every time I turn around they are dropping like flies for one reason or another...someone wasn't honest...if you tell someone you are a hard worker, but the only thing I see you working hard to do -is to find others to do your work...we have a problem...

I hate people who are All talk...seriously-if you were that awesome at what you do you would NEVER have to tell me (or anyone else for that matter) how good you are at something-because I would have heard it from other people-or seen it in action for myself. PERIOD
Trying to accommodate all of the families during the holidays is making me crazy...for.real.  We spend all day driving around to various houses on Christmas Day that we don't really ever get to enjoy the time we have with the people we are with (and Hannah doesn't get to play with her toys either... which wasn't really a problem before, but now that she is 3...I know so old right?...she is going to expect to be able to play with the toys she opens this year) because we are so busy thinking about when we need to leave and our next location...this year, we are going to try to spread Christmas across a few days...
I ate like a Fatty 5000 this weekend while in the Mountains...and I have been listening to my pants scream at me all morning for it too...or maybe it is my muffin top that is screaming-hard to tell at this point because I am too puffed up to lean over and see which it is for is BACK ON...anyone want some lifesavers-they must be removed from my office immediately-come people you don't want my pants to go on strike anymore than I do for labor abuse...they are going to make a hostile work environment claim in the very near future...I can feel seriously...i can feel it...

One of my Favs-is having a baby VERY soon (don't tell her that because she might get a bit freaked out-but she is totally ready for it and is a Great mom so it will be okay if she finds out...though...I am pretty sure she knows she is due soon too...) and I feel like i haven't seen her in so long and i am a bad friend...I promise to try to take you out on a Baby Mama date soon!  I know you are busy with the Holidays but should you need an escape-err...break you just say the word and I will scoop you up...

I hate the thought that people touch my stuff when I am not around...
Pot luck lunches creep me out sometimes...I mean, if I don't KNOW you, I am not likely to eat your food because I have no idea how you made it...I was unaware that I felt this way until I heard my last manager say it out loud (though she was referring to herself at the time, and not me) and it hit me-Self-you don't know what that person's kitchen looks like...and you KNOW they don't wash their hands in the restroom before they leave so why would you consider eating their food? 

So...I haven't bought those black or brown slacks I mentioned in the here but I am still on the hunt...but I haven't actually looked for any...and until the situation detailed in FOUR is resolved, I will NOT be shopping for them anytime soon

OK..I have a closet problem...but if you ask Hubs (and I STRONGLY encourage you not too...) he will tell you I have a shoe problem...I just don't have enough closet space for all of the shoes I have...or any of the ones I WANT to own...I can't help it...The shoe department is like my SPCA...I can't walk by a beautiful pair of shoes without hearing it cry out for an owner!  They WANT me to buy I do...much to Hubs' dismay...and because of the lack of closet space, and the fact that I KNOW Hubs will D-I-E if he sees me procure ANOTHER pair of shoes (in any color, height, fabric...what have you) he might...well I am not sure what he would do, but I don't want to find I keep a lot of them in my trunk...and backseat...and front passenger side of the car is a mobile shoe closet...I said it-happy?!  none the less...I can't stop myself from buying shoes...I love them...and they love me...and like I said-it just breaks my heart to see a perfectly good pair of beautiful shoes sitting around WAITING to be mother in law has this same feeling when she goes to the SPCA and now has 2 dogs...
Hubs Stinks...well...he doesn't stink...but what he is constantly letting OUT does...I mean, it was so bad yesterday, I had to leave THE HOUSE...which might have been a bad idea because when I walked back it, it was like getting slapped in the face-Dutch Oven style-TIMES 100 because the heat was on and the doors were closed...ugh...why doesn't he get that he COULD leave the room and do all that stuff in a room (or outside) where no one else is don't know...the BATHROOM? I know you know what I am talking about-if you live with a was so bad-HE was giggling and didn't want to breathe...All.Day.For.Real

I HATE HATE HATE having to repeat myself more than once...ESPECIALLY if you aren't listening...recently someone asked me to repeat what I had just went like this:
Person: hey-Erin-do you know where I can find (insert item here)
Me: Yeah, I think you can get them at Target
PERSON: What now?  Say that again, I am listening this time
Me: Sigh-I think you can get them at Target
Person: What-I wasn't listening again...
Me: I am not repeating myself again because you aren't listening...and for the asked ME for help, and THEN said you were listening, and you really weren't-it isn't like I interrupted you and asked you for your help...
Person: Well that was rude...

If you are too sick to go to church with your family, then you are too sick to go hangout with your friends to relax...get back in bed and take your medicine and go to sleep...and IF you suggest that you are going to meet up with your friends, DO NOT, and I cannot stress this enough-DO NOT complain about how bad you feel. PERIOD

I may have mentioned an OCD coworker...I brought him a Holiday treat today, and he was so excited he gave me a, before you say-so-big deal-let me explain...he doesn't touch others because of said OCD he wraps his arms around himself and squeezes and sways back and forth while telling me he is giving me a Giant Hug...I see the face you are making and all I can say is I know right?

I really cannot stand the sound of a spoon scraping the inside of a yogurt-type know...where the person is just trying to get the last bit of yogurt (pudding, soup, etc) out before throwing it nails on a chalkboard...

Similar to fourteen-I CANNOT stand the sound of cardboard rubbing on cardboard...blech...packing household items with me is a dream!

I stare at myself in mirror-whenever possible...seriously...If a reflection can be seen, I am trying to find it...I was "outed" of this character trait in high school-a group of us has gone out to dinner-Olive Garden I believe-and someone saw me staring at myself across the table...I also do this while I am talking on the phone...I like to see what faces I naturally make when speaking to others...and see if I make a face if it changes the tone I am using...

I sing songs-in my head-while brushing my teeth...and I frequently find myself dancing along to said does Hubs...who always wants to know what I am which he receives the following response:
"Brushing my teeth-Duh" what does it look like? 

That is probably enough for one session...Hope to read your confessions too!

1 comment:

  1. Two and six hit it home for me....Love that your getting all your confessions out now. Hope it gives you some relief. :)