Thursday, January 24, 2013

3 Fears

Post Number 2 in the For My Loves Series-

Describe 3 Legitimate fears you have and explain how they because fears.

I am not going to list these in any particular order-well, that is a lie, I am going to list them in the order of which I find them easiest to will see why soon...

1.) As previously mentioned I do not swim in water that I cannot see through because I am afraid of being attacked by an alligator and/or a shark...Of that, I have a VERY real fear of alligators/crocodiles.  So much so, that only recently have I been able to see one on the TV and not freak out and have nightmares about it (it is OK if you are judging me-your daddy thinks I am crazy about this fear). This fear came about when I was younger...MUCH younger-I witnessed a gigantic alligator rip the tire off of a Geo Metro...effortlessly.  And if that gator could do that to a car-I do NOT want to know what he could do to me.  I also do not like the fact that these critters live in and under the water...they could sneak up on me without any sort of notice know what happens after that...

2.) Losing your father.  I love your father and we are a team.  I do not know what I would do without him-though we have come close more times than I care to think about...1 time is too many...Because he is a police officer, he constantly puts his life at risk to protect other people and uphold the law.  When I was pregnant with Hannah, I was pretty sick during the first trimester-so much so, my Doctor gave me medicine to help with the nausea, but it made me very sleepy so I was not able to take it during the day because I had to work.  I would come home from work, eat, take my medicine and try to fall asleep.  One day in January of 2008 was a particularly rough day of sickness for me so when I went to sleep, I turned off the ringer of my phone.  Turns out that was a terrible move on my part.  Daddy was hit by a car that night at work and no one could reach me to tell me.  Your Poppi had to drive over to my house to knock on the door to wake me up.  This was one of the scariest moments of my life.  I had no idea how bad the injuries were or anything.  Just that he was hit by a car and being rushed to the hospital.  I cried the whole way to the hospital thinking about how there was a possibility that Hannah would never meet her father...I wish I could tell you that that was the only time Daddy was hit by a car...sadly it was date he has been hit by 2 cars (physically hit, car versus man) and was involved in an accident because a car ran him off of the road...all required him to go to the hospital and every time I thought about the possibility of losing him...I don't want to imagine what life would be like without him, and I hope I never have to know...recently the mother of some very close friends of ours passed away.  Seeing the pain and grief in her husband's eyes was more than enough for me to know I don't ever want to be in that position.  (please give me a moment, I am tearing up as I write you know what I meant by writing them in order of being easiest to write about...)  "You don't marry someone you can live with – you marry the person who you cannot live without." – Unknown Author

3.) Losing one of you...okay, even the thought of it makes me cry.  I pray that neither of you are called to heaven before I am.  I do not want to know what pain like that is like-ever.  I hope I never get a late night call about one of you-or have an officer show up at my door to tell me terrible news...none of that.  Seeing your face(s) is what makes my heart smile, and it would break into a billion pieces if I ever had to say goodbye to one of you..."Children are the hands by which we take hold of heaven." Henry Ward Beecher

That is all I can say about that because I am having difficulty seeing through the tears just from writing about the the risk of being cliche-You complete me.

 “You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” 
-Dr. Seuss
"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul; that makes us reach for more, that plants the fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. That’s what I hope to give you forever." – The Notebook
"Pleasure of love lasts but a moment. Pain of love lasts a lifetime." – Bette Davis
"To be brave is to love unconditionally without expecting anything in return." – Madonna
I love you to the Moon and Back-

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